Safe Side Of The Ropes

By: Andrew Harrison

Jul 25 2009

Category: adam booth, amir kahn, andre ward, anthony small, barry hearn, chris eubank, david haye, frank warren, jeff lacey, joe calzaghe, kell brook, nathan cleverley, ricky hatton, roy jones jr, rupert murdoch, tyson fury, Uncategorized

5 Comments

Well what a surprise, in a summer of curve balls, frustration and dead ducks, this week’s news that David Haye had chosen to exchange the most dangerous and hulking Eastern Bloc heavyweight opponent in world boxing for the least dangerous one, was another smack in the kisser. Even worse for yours truly, I’d spent three evenings (after a hard day’s slog), knocking together what I immodestly believe was shaping up to be a cracking article on Haye’s momentous task.

Any article beginning with……

‘As he bids to become the David Hasselhoff of German sporting events’….

…….has to have a chance of grabbing its readers instantly by the jaffas, which has been my modus operandi after my last two, humourless and rather straight laced efforts went by largely unnoticed. I’ll now have to carry out a damage limitation exercise on my aborted scribblings, swapping Valuev for Vitali and toning down the size of the task ahead of the headline grabbing Brit, now more Baer-Carnera than Spinks-Holmes.

Haye’s antics this summer have managed to set a fair few people’s teeth on edge and I can see why, although my two cents, for what it’s worth, would divert blame towards his management. The whole sordid Klitschko dalliance could surely have been saved from spiralling out of control with better guidance. No matter, what’s done is done and as ever, Haye’s biggest critic has been up on his soapbox again.

A fair few US fight fans were mortified when Oscar De la Hoya and GBP acquired Ring Magazine a couple of years back, wondering if the integrity and reputation of the magazine would be compromised. The jury is largely still out on the L.A Narcissus’s purchase, however save for a few overly indulgent Oscar articles, I have seen no problems so far from a journalistic point of view (anybody else?).

In my dear old little England, we have a similar if slightly less grand problem. Frank Warren, Sports Network guru and the man at the forefront of boxing promotion in this part of the globe for decades, has again laid into Haye’s career in his weekly ‘column’ in the UK’s biggest selling tabloid, the name of which can’t grace my shimmering blog for reasons of taste and decency!!

Warren is signed to Sky Sports, whose founder Rupert Murdoch, also indirectly controls the rag in question. Warren’s ‘column’ for the uninitiated regularly fluffs the feathers of his own fighters, whilst regularly denigrating other fighter in world boxing who fight under a different promotional banner. Perfect advertising for Sky boxing then, however odious and misleading it may be.

This week’s effort centres on Amir Khan’s triumph over Kotlelnik last weekend and follows a familiar and well worn route. Warren credits himself for the match, his involvement and the fact he single handedly resurrected the young lad from Bolton’s career (Zzzzzzzzzzz). He then goes on to discuss Khan’s prospects regarding his next outing and reading between the lines…… ‘another option is being part of the undercard to Pacquiao’s clash with Miguel Cotto in November, which would give him good publicity, but might not pay as well’…….I think you can kiss goodbye to that one then. Look instead for him to fight at home against his mandatory challenger, the beatable Dmitriy Salita (Joe Calzaghe and Ricky Hatton style WBO and WBU title reign here we come…….whoooo hooooo!!).

Warren then rounds on Carl Froch (The Cobra is signed to Mick Hennessy) for daring to call the Khan fight boring, childishly implying that Khan sells more tickets than Froch and pointing out that he annexed his title in less time and with less bouts…..ner nerrr na ner nerrrrrrrrrrrrr…….my rag’s bigger than your rag…..

Next, he cheers the young brain box from the Welsh valleys, Nathan Cleverly (promoted by Frank Warren), announcing him a future star. Cleverly did look a decent prospect last week, I watched him intently as he struggled somewhat to get rid of the stubborn but green Danny McIntosh on ITV4, but still has much to learn and should completely ignore the Calzaghe references for his own sake.

Moving swiftly on, he goes on to lavish praise upon welter prospect Kell Brook (promoted by Frank Warren) and light middleweight oddity Anthony Small (the artist formerly known as SugarRayClayJonesJr, errr promoted by Frank Warren).

A quick dig at Chris Eubank (formerly promoted by Barry Hearn) and he’s back into Haye, a man he has grinded so much axe against, he’s been left with naught but a splinter. The headline, ‘Haye, who is he kidding?’ has a bit of a moan at the decision to box Valuev, however this is just another in a long line of attacks against Britains best heavyweight (Haye is promoted by Adam Booth).

Due to the fact I wouldn’t use this tatty periodical to wipe my backside if I had dysentery in the midst of a food famine and toilet tissue shortage where the only grub left on earth was of the madras variety, I don’t have back issues to hand. Seared into my memory however are laughable barbs which were thrown along the lines of, ‘why doesn’t Haye fight Matt Skelton?’ when he and Booth scoured for a world ranked heavy recently (Matt Skelton is/was promoted by Frank Warren), ‘it’s the fight all of Britain wants’…..as a resident, I have to say I have never heard a single person ask to see such a fight………

Haye gives as good as he gets, which is perhaps why Warren has such a grudge, retorting with zingers such as ‘Skelton’s the most boring heavyweight in the world. Thanks, but I’m not in boxing to hand out pensions’, further counter punching with ‘How much more charity are [Warren's promotional outfit] Sports Network willing to offer me? They already gift-wrapped Enzo Maccarinelli for me to obliterate in a couple of rounds and now they want to wheel out the company’s granddad on his Stannah stair-lift for a beating. Frank Warren’s obsessed with me. He should stop throwing me handouts and either donate the money to a more worthwhile charity or get his house in order. We thank Frank Warren for sacrificing Maccarinelli, but we’d feel immense guilt if we took any more free money from Sports Network. I have a hard enough time sleeping at night as it is’.

As childish as all of these antics are, there’s surely a point here relating to the health of boxing in the UK. If the man in the street has a glimpse at Warren’s doodlings, he’s faced with the idea that Amir Khan is the main man in boxing. Now he knows this can’t quite be right as he remembers recently forking out the best part of 20 quid to see the lad ‘having his lunch money taken from him’ as Nate Campbell so eloquently put it. Hardly an advert to draw casual fans back to the sport, fans of this variety don’t actively hunt out boxing websites or spend their bread on specialist magazines, they stumble across what few articles remain in the national dailies. Surely ‘the nation’s best loved’ newspaper has a responsibility to report on this wonderful sport in it’s entirety, rather than allowing a promoter to sell his own fighters whilst rubbishing everyone else’s?

• As of today I can get 10/1 for Andre Ward to win the Super Six tournament. I like that and you should too.
• Anyone else slightly disturbed by Roy Jones dressed as Captain Hook? I don’t see many hooks landing thoughout the ‘Hook City’ promotion if I’m honest, I see Jones peppering a lumbering and sad Lacy over twelve difficult to watch rounds. 
• My mate Clarkey texted me earlier, alarmed at Ricky Hatton’s apparent slurred speech on a radio interview. I can’t comment on it as I can’t track it down however it’s a worrying thought, especially if ‘The Hitman’ elects to fight on. 
• The ridiculously over-hyped Tyson Fury needs to take stock on his fledgling career before he disappears as quickly as he arrived. Talk of piling on hefty amounts of weight in single sittings and admitting to fighting without due diligence in training is an accident waiting to happen. If he doesn’t get serious, he’ll wind up as the guy who punched himself in the face on Youtube…..and little else.